Wednesday May 26th, 2021

 I sat with Camden for probably about an hour and a half while he worked on a paper for school. We had some laughs and some nudges from me for him to just focus on the paper. No big deal, right? I would sit with him forever if I could. He was so incredibly grateful and when the paper was finished he sat in my lap and wrapped his arms around me tighter than he ever had before. We sat like this for a long time. At that moment, everything wrong in my world was right. I am so incredibly blessed. 

On the other hand, these words actually came out of my mouth this morning. "Kellan, please promise me you will not talk about cocaine at school today." Now let me put some context to this before any authorities are called. Kellan is Mr. Science Boy and loves to learn about anything he can put his hands on. He and I were watching a video and it happened to mention that cocaine was used as medicine in the old days. I turned the video off after that, but that little snippet caught his big brain's attention and that's all he could focus on for a while...

The other weekend we were heading somewhere new, and of course I got lost. We had to take a detour because I missed the exit. We got off the expressway and were at a red light. There was a homeless man there, and I gave him a few dollars. Being the incredibly amazing Mom I am, I started teaching my boys some lessons. These included, why some people may be homeless, why I can't give every homeless person I see money, etc. As I beamed at myself for a little while, we went to CVS later that day. The boys stopped in their tracks when they saw a huge gumball machine. As their mouths opened to form some interesting begging tactics, I shut them down immediately. "No Gum!" Camden, who has braces and cannot consume gum,  looked at me pleadingly. "But Mooom! All the bubblegums are homeless! They need quarters!"...

Kellan got sent to the fidget chair at school. First, I didn't even know there was such a thing. I was stunned and asked Kellan why?! He replied, "it wasn't my fault Mom! (likely story). I have a mosquito bite on my bee dee bee dee and couldn't stop fidgeting!" Ok, I will give him this one. Mosquitos love that boy!

Wednesday May 25th, 2021

Me: Oh my legs are so sore (complaining noises)
Kellan: (without looking up). So sorry for your loss...

Camden was in rare form when he got home from school. I jokingly said, "you're cruisin' for a bruisin'" He asked me what that meant and I told him. He thought a minute, got his crooked little grin on his face, and went into further rare form. I sighed, and he asked, "am I cruising?"...

Camden's new thing, to completely annoy Kellan, is saying in a matter of fact voice, "did you know - the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round?" This absolutely sends Kellan into a tizzy. And Camden can't stand when Kellan fake coughs for attention. So now, the joyful noises I hear around the house involve wheels on buses and dramatic coughs...

Aaaand this is why I keep them. I moved my desk out to the living room to record a video for work. Kellan was sitting on the couch after a long week of school and said. "Mom? Can this be your permanent office? I like having you out here with me."

I bought the boys two different types of Kleenex because I couldn't remember if they liked the lotion kind, or if it freaked them out. Both boys love the lotion Kleenex. Kellan lovingly held the lotion-y Kleenex and said, "now this is something I could fall asleep to"...

The boys were arguing over who tooted. They both wanted to claim it - sigh. They could not agree, so they said they were going to call 'Judy Dooty". I CANNOT stop laughing! 

Monday May 3rd, 2021

 It was a bad weekend. It was a hard weekend. I am struggling. After I put my sweet boys to bed, I came and sat on the couch and sobbed. I didn't see little Kellan sneak out of bed and come into the living room. I tried to stop crying, then realized, it's ok for my children to see real life emotions. It's better to get this out instead of holding it in. He quietly sat by me, put his arm around me and his head on my shoulder and said, "do you want to talk about it?" God has truly blessed me with my sons. They are my reason for living.