September 30th, 2015

According to my Cow, 'Silly Putty' is called 'Laffy Taff'.

At the end of swim lessons tonight, Camden got pulled aside to get a ribbon. Kellan excitedly went up to the instructor and asked "Do I get a ribbon too?!". The instructor just shook his head no. Kellan cheerfully yelled "OK!" and ran off to me to get his towel.
Then he was the loudest cheerleader while Camden got his 'Awesome Day' ribbon. What a not a care in the world guy!

Kellan was being silly while we were getting ready for bed. He announced "I'm a nut job!", thought a moment, and then asked "does that mean I have to get a job gathering nuts?"

At Party City tonight - Camden, of course, had to go to the bathroom. I think he just likes to check out the powder room at every establishment. I looked around and told Camden there might not be a public bathroom here. Kellan determinedly started walking down the aisle. He didn't bother to look back at us, but waved his hand to motion for us to follow. He lead us right to the bathroom. I asked how the heck he knew where the bathroom was. He said he was just here with Grammy the other day so that's how he knew. When we walked in he held his nose and said "Yuck!". I didn't really smell anything, so I looked at him puzzled. He told us "I pooped when I was here with Grammy and it still stinks!". They had gone to Party City about a month ago, but I am sure proud that my boy's stink can last that long!

Kellan loves to watch America's Funniest Home videos. Although it does concern me that he only laughs at the segments when people get hurt. We were watching an episode and I wasn't really hearing the belly laughter I usually hear from him while viewing this program. Finally he said "why can I not laugh?" I think that's a Kellan equivalent to "this one isn't that funny"...

Camden was at the dentist the other day, and Kellan had to wait patiently. He was actually doing really well. Of course when I opened my mouth to tell him what a good boy he was being, he whined and asked "why is Camden saying 'ah' for sooo long?"...

Kellan "Mom? Can we go eat lunch somewhere that doesn't have lunch?"
Me: Making a mental note to make sure I brought home the right kid from the hospital.

September 27th, 2015

We got our Beagle yesterday! Welcome 'Scuse Me to the family!

Last night, Kellan frickin' locked the bathroom door and shut it. This would have been fine, of course, if someone had been in the bathroom to unlock it on their way out. But alas, no one was in said bathroom. I was so proud of myself (after getting hysterical of course) that I had the great idea to get a screwdriver, take the doorknob off and get the door open. Yay me 'cause it worked! Then later that night, the boys and I were in the bathroom and they locked the door. We were in the bathroom so that part was ok, but then I froze and wondered if maybe the doorknob would fall off and we would be trapped in there. Mom and Dad, if you don't hear from us for a while, just assume we're trapped in the bathroom... sigh...

Mom: I smell poop
Camden: I smell farm animals
Kellan: I smell water

I took the boys to the trampoline park today. They love this place. I would too, but the staff won't let me jump :(
They asked if they could go back to the trampoline park tomorrow. I told them we only go every once in a while, because it's a special treat for when they're really good. I added, if we went every day, it wouldn't be as exciting. Camden immediately deadpanned "yes it would". -then ganged up on me by adding "right, Kellan?" Kellan, of course, vigorously nodded his head and said "yea, Mom. It would be awesome"...

At the trampoline park, they have a really cool harness thing that lets you jump super high. Kellan loves this - Camden not so much. The staff have to weigh people before they can get on to know how many bands to use, and Kellan weighed in at 30lbs. As Kellan was jumping, the young kid running the machine asked me how old Kellan was. I said 4 1/2. The high school kid thought a minute and asked "4 1/2 years or 4 1/2 months". I honestly don't know if he was joking or not.

 We picked Grammy and Granfy up from the airport this afternoon. (Oh thank God they're back home). As we were driving around the airport, the boys were so excited to see the planes coming in and taking off. After a moment of delicious silence, Camden mused, "I like this airport. It has lots of walls". Yes, Camden. I think people come to Sky Harbor for the walls.

We went to have lunch with Aunt Pammy after we got 'Scuse Me all settled in at home. As soon as we ordered, I asked an iPad engrossed Kellan if he was going to eat. (Starting the nagging early - I am). Kellan actually looked up from the iPad for a minute, and said that yes, he was going to eat. Then he glanced around the table and looked confused and told me "wait, I'll eat when my food gets here". Well played Cow, well played...

Driving home, the moon was on Kellan's side of the car (a thing the boys tend to fight about like I have any control on that one). Kellan announced "the moon's by me because it thinks I'm cute".

Kellan wisely explained to me that if airplanes were made of bricks, they wouldn't be hurt by lightning. After a minute of thinking (smoke coming out of his petite ears with that one), he said, "also, if airplanes were made of bricks, a wolf couldn't blow it down"...

When I picked Camden up from school he was cracking up. He was laughing so hard he couldn't get out what was so funny to even tell me. I started laughing so hard there were tears streaming down my face - and I didn't even know why I was laughing. Finally, after 23 deep calming breaths, Camden told me they were playing four corners at school. The game where all the kids choose a corner of the classroom and the kid in the middle has his eyes closed and calls out a 1,2,3 or 4. Whatever number is called, the kids in that corner are 'out'. Camden said he was so excited and nervous when he picked his corner. He didn't want to be 'out'. He got so happily worked up that he shot a huge duck. Poor kids that picked that corner to be in...

We were practicing baseball with Camden. He's so competitive and can't stand to lose, so we basically weren't teaching baseball, but rather how to be a good sport. I started talking about softball and Camden vigorously and adamantly decided he would much rather play softball than baseball. This went on for several minutes with me telling him he shouldn't probably join a baseball team and him getting ridiculously angry. Finally, I realized he thought softball meant the ball was 'soft'. Once we explained that to him, he didn't care what kind of ball he played, he just wanted to always win.

Also while playing baseball, I noticed Camden was throwing with his right hand. He's left handed, so I asked him if he'd rather throw with that hand. He knowing told me, "No, this is my good hand so I'm saving it". Hopefully he'll sign a millions of dollars pro sport contract and 'saving' his good arm is worth it.

I bought the boys a few cheap outside toys, and put them in a gift bag. I had the bag on the counter, and when we got home, that's right where they zoned in. I told them if they are really good, we can see what's in the goodie bag. Kellan could not stand the fact that he couldn't look in the bag right that minute. Every time he walked by the counter, he said "MOM! Can we PLEASE see what's in the goooooooooodie bag?"

Camden and I were having a snowball fight with balled up pieces of paper. The rules of this snowball fight (I didn't know this required rules, but I guess Camden's version does) vary. I did pick up on the fact that the 'rules' of this game changed according to how Camden's snowball flew. Out of nowhere, Camden threw a fit and said "I want to play snowball fight!!!". I looked around, wondered if I was missing something. I thought we were having a snowball fight.?

It cracks me up because about 75% of the time Kellan says something, he laughs like "what the heck did I just say?". We passed WalMart and saw a fire truck out front. Well, I should be clear and say Kellan saw the fire truck. Kellan can spot those things miles away. Kellan informed me that the fire truck was there to get groceries. Then he laughed and said "groceries?!". Fire trucks don't need groceries! Dimples galore after that one.

September 23rd, 2015

I was kind of shocked that no one's wished me a happy 1/2 birthday today!

We're going to check out a rescue beagle this Saturday! We're all so excited, but can't agree on a name!

Mom of the year alert. I have a checklist pasted to the garage door to make sure I don't forget what we need for school in the morning. This list includes Camden's red folder, snack, backpack, reminder to put sunscreen on them, etc. Well, since the note is placed so prominently on the way out the door, you'd think I wouldn't forget anything. ('You'd think' is the key phrase). I dropped Camden off at school and was talking to a teacher. I should point out that I am making every effort to be involved in the school, liked, known - you name it. While talking to this new teacher, Camden was putting his school stuff where it goes. He then yelled across the room - "Hey Mom?! You forgot my snack!" Instead of being embarrassed (at first) I went into panic mode. What will my kid eat?! Will his blood sugar level drop?! The teacher then reassured me they would provide a snack for him and she forgot her kid's snack yesterday. I think I'm going to fit right in! (Since I'm in defensive mode, I would like to point out that this is the first time I've forgotten something since school began...)

To continue with this story, when I picked Camden up, the aide said Camden was hungry. She said they offered him an apple, and a few other snacks, but he didn't want them. I got dinner ready as soon as we got home. While dinner was cooking, I noticed Camden's lunchbox on the counter. I opened it, and all the snacks I had packed him were still in there. I looked at Camden incredulously and asked "If you were so hungry, why didn't you eat your snack?" Camden replied, "Uh Mom? You forgot to bring my snack to school, remember"... Whoops...

In the car, I told Camden, "You have the whole world at your fingertips. You can do anything!". He replied "but my Mom and Dad don't let me do anything"...

When Kellan gets out of bed once I've tucked him in, he tends to just stand behind the couch so I don't see him and he doesn't get in trouble. I don't exactly know why he'd rather stand behind the couch than be in his comfy cozy bed, but I don't understand a lot of things Kellan does. I had just settled down to watch the 15 minutes of TV I usually watch before I fall sound asleep. All of the sudden, I heard a HUGE duck. I looked around in disbelief, because I knew it wasn't me that had shot that duck. Then there was a burst of giggles and a Kellan came into eyesight. How can you get mad at a kid for getting out of bed when the scene plays out that way?...

I'm still trying to get the timing down to get Camden and Kellan to school and make it to work on time. I always worry that one will be mad if I drop them off first (or second, because who knows what they'll fight over). I decided to take Kellan first because his school opens earlier than Camden's before school care. I was trying to explain this to Kellan, sensitively, when he knowingly replied "drop me off first, Mom, because preschool really needs me". Yay!

I happened to have a quarter (don't ask me how I got that kind of money) and was teaching Camden how to play heads or tails. He was doing it right, but after several times of guessing heads when it was tails, and vice versa, he began making the call once the coin had landed. That's a good way to always be right. I say sheesh to the 50/50 chance of being right.

Camden was trying to get me to play a game with him. I told him "just a sec". He beckoned, "C'mon Mom, it will be exercise!". And here I thought I was looking pretty decent...

This same monkey earlier in the day had this to add to his credit. I had sat in a kids chair, and he told me I should probably use two...

Kellan asked me why we had named him Kellan. I was explaining this process to him when he got ridiculously mad and screamed "why didn't you name me traffic light?!?!"...

Kellan fell out of the car while trying to get in the other day. I softened his fall because I was right behind him and he was fine. A few minutes later he told me "you could catch me with a net"...

Well Kellan saved me some time from checking on him when he told me this interesting fact. As I was getting ready in the morning, the boys were in the kitchen having breakfast. I kept asking from the bathroom if they were eating. Finally Kellan walked in, face covered in Nutella, and wisely told me, "Mom, if you see chocolate on my face, you know I'm eating"...

I told Camden "you're something else, kid. He over thought this (go figure) and asked "who am I?"...

September 19th, 2015

I chaperoned the junior high dance for Annunciation tonight. I don't know if I feel cool or super not...

Kellan knows that he has to ask politely when he wants something. When he really really wants something, he asks very politely. He uses this template - "May you please take me to Peanut Butter Pizza?".

Out of the blue (not like this has ever occurred with Kellan), he told me he stepped on allergies...

Grammy and Camden are in Grammy's room folding towels. They are both in their glory.

Kellan has Grammy's doily on his face and can't understand why he can only see dots...

Kellan had a Grammy day, and I asked him what the best part of the day was. He replied, "watching the iPad". Bwa a a. It's not just me he wants to ignore!

So, as much as I call a bee dee bee dee a bee dee bee dee, I will reluctantly agree the scientific term is 'penis'. I repeatedly asked the boys to settle down because it was almost their bedtime Obviously, both boys were in t-shirts and underwear, (no pants policy) and after several exhausting attempts to get them to calm down, Kellan provided me with this explanation. "I can't calm down because I'm upside down and my penis is out!".

I 100% no lie just heard Camden say blackish-blue on his own accord. I recommend getting in to Grammy's and my head to find out why that's so funny.

Camden was talking and paused a moment (Holy Cow!) and asked what Great Grandpa Gall's name is. Because, God forbid he call him 'Great Grandpa Gall'. I told him His name is John. Silence for a moment (Holy Cow!) and then Camden asked, "John Deere?"...

We all had to get out of the pool abruptly (that's another story) and while we were drying off, Kellan whipped out his bee dee bee dee (see!) and peed right on the pool deck dangerously close to his dry clothes. We all looked at him and screamed, and he laughed and asked "how did that happen?".

September 14th, 2015

Camden and Kellan (more Camden) love doing slo-motion videos. They begged to do this after the bath. I hesitated because I know how wound up they get and it might not be easy to get them to calm down for bed. I told the boys we could take 5 videos and that was it. After we watched the 5th one, I went to see if I could find a movie to help the boys relax before bed. Then I saw a white butted Kellan march by me to the bathroom and say "let's brush our Teeth-y McTeetherton's!". I didn't say a word, and we went potty, brushed/ flossed and read a book and went to bed. And to think - I was going to let them stay up for another 1/2 hour, but who am I to get in my way? Whatever SuperMom power I have, I'll take it!

We were having a lazy day, and Kellan hadn't said a word in about 40 minutes. Out of nowhere, he questioned "ice cream pizza?!". I don't know...

At lunch, Kellan took a huge bite of food. I, of course, freaked out and yelled "Kellan! That's way too big of a bite!". He looked at me and said "but my mouth's not talking"...

Kellan loves looking out the window and saying "a thunder cloud is rolling in". This usually happens when it's as sunny as can be and not a cloud in the sky. He was excitedly telling Grammy about a thunder cloud rolling in on the way home yesterday. Grammy said "Oh. There was a thunderstorm when you were driving home?". Kellan looked exasperated and said "No Grammy. MOM was driving home. Not me!"...

At dinner with Grammy and Granfy, Camden asked me why I never buy. Gulp...

Camden asked me what I wanted to be when I was a little girl. I told him a Human Resources Manager. (Joke in case that wasn't apparent). I told him I wanted to be the President of the United States. Ever since then, that's what he wants to be. YES!

Camden told Granfy:
Michigan State is going to the Rose Bowl, Michigan's going to the Toilet Bowl.
Not to be outdone, Kellan said with a dimply grin, "I clogged up the toilet bowl"...

Ok, so no one on earth can say they've never burnt a piece of toast. This morning, the waffles I gave Kellan were a little - shall we say 'toasty'. I drowned them in cinnamon sugar hoping my non observant kid wouldn't notice. As I was (extremely nicely as always) encouraging them to finish breakfast, Kellan called me over, pointed to the burnt parts, and said "I'm allergic to black toast"...

Grammy and Granfy wanted to FaceTime with the boys. They usually ask this right before bedtime, but who am I to judge since they always pay for our meals.
I told a very excited monkey, that we could talk to Grammy and Granfy, but he couldn't get riled up. He stood up on the couch, placed his hand on my shoulder, looked down at me and said, "Mom, I'm a riled up man"...

We were watching the Lions game (a feat in itself), and the restaurant kept erupting in cheers sporadically. There were so many games on, and definitely no one was cheering for the Lions. The Lions were playing the Chargers, (apparently called 'Funder' by Kellan). Every time someone would cheer, Kellan would look up surprised and yell "GO FUNDER!" Really Cow? San Diego over the Lions?... Sigh...

September 11th, 2015

Grammy and Kellan are having a Grammy/Cow day. Oh thank God!

At breakfast, Grammy and I were talking about how much the boys love swim lessons. I'm so glad they got in to this. We then started on the path of Kellan's progress in swim. He and his Fred Flintstone feet still can't quite back float. Then we talked about how he could care less about progressing in swim, but has an absolute ball there. Grammy leaned over and asked Kellan if he was good at swim. Without looking up from the video on the phone, Kellan exclaimed "Nope!".

Kellan was in rare form at breakfast. He was counting sillily (is that a word?) and said 50 baby!

The boys are still obsessed with Bible stories. Randomly (Kellan fashion) Kellan asked me why God 'flushed' the earth.

On Kellan's 'sick day'. I asked him how he was feeling. Then he remembered he went home from school sick. He pathetically replied "I still feel so sick so I should probably watch the iPat".

September 10th, 2015

From the back seat of the car - courtesy of Kellan - I hear, "Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse went up the Granfy clock." Grandfather clock, maybe?

I was peeing, and couldn't even get that glorious moment to myself. Kellan sat on the rug right in front of me (criss cross applesauce) for this 19 second process. I could see the wheels turning in his big head, and he asked "do girls have cicadas?". Camden cracked up and said "cicada's are what make noise outside at night!". I asked Kellan what he meant by cicada's. He said "you know, to go potty". Why yes, Kellan. The girl equivalent to 'bee dee bee dee's' is called a 'cicada'.

Kellan and I had a mother/cow day, and in the car, Kellan kept asking me to tell Bible stories. I told him each and every one I could think of - twice. Finally, when that well had run dry, he was still asking for more stories. C'Mon Holy Family! Why didn't you make me retain more?!. I said, Kellan, I need to think a minute for another story. Kellan said, "I know! How 'bout one about a sea urchin!". Sigh...

As you know, the boys are always asking me to tell them stories about when they were younger. Bottle sanitizing and nights up making sure they were breathing are not very interesting to them, so I started to pull from my childhood. There was a great Uncle Neil story. Uncle Neil? Do you follow the blog? Aw who am I kidding. Everybody does!
Here's the Uncle Neil story that Camden finds hilarious and Kellan thinks is so-so.
Uncle Neil had to - uh, shall we say 'poop' really badly at school (Like how I sugar coated that?). The only problem was, is that the buses were already there to take the students home, and there was no time to poo. Uncle Neil held this the whole way home, and the minute those bus doors opened at the destination of StockBridge Commons, Uncle Neil took off running at full speed. Well, as full speed as an 8 year old Gall could run. We were lucky to live in a really cool Mid Western neighborhood, and all the backyards met up so there was grass the whole way home. I won't waste time - Uncle Neil tripped on a rock and pooped his pants.
The best part is, when he got home, he didn't tell Mom (Grammy) and just put his soiled underwear in the bathroom sink. When Grammy walked in to the bathroom, she was like "what the?!' Camden did a rendition of this story for video, and Kellan could pretty much care less. Makes me wonder what Kellan has up his sleeve...

Kellan has a runny nose. He said "good thing we're playing Candy Land in the bathroom! The kleenex is right here!" Not that he uses Kleenex...

Since Kellan has *ahem* boogers, he claims he's the 'Booger-lar'.

The boys love racing their cars. Camden, of course, is very methodical about who wins. Obviously it's the car that goes further, but the car he's 'in' changes according to who wins. Kellan loves this game too. When the cars he vrooms have all gone, he says "well, this car went first so he wins". Oh Lions, can you start first in every game? According to Kellan, we would win the Super Bowl each and every single year! That's the secret!

So, just as I'm getting used to Camden having homework, he is too. We were at Grammy and Granfy's and I had him at the table doing his homework. He's very smart, but he's never had to focus specifically on one task. He got to choose when and where he wanted to be smart. Kellan was, this is new, pouting about not being able to watch the iPad. I told him if he helped me set the table, he could watch the iPad later. He reluctantly threw out paper towels on the table and forks went here and there, willy nilly. As this was new, Camden could not stand the fact that Kellan got to set the table and he could not (wonder how long this will last). I seriously had to yell at Camden to stop wanting to do chores!

I was getting Cow kisses (not quite as rare as Monkey kisses), and Kellan said my breath smelled like paint. My thoughts went from mad to sad to scared and embarrassed. Then I realized I had just put on my make-up. I was assuming that was what he smelled as he motioned to get down and far away from me. Yes, that's what it was. Let me have this one, ok?

So, Kellan left school Tuesday due to an upset stomach. I do believe this as he's been complaining for a while. In the car, I had him buckled, and before we turned on Union Hills, he said "I'm a rotten egg because I got out of school early".

When I picked Kellan up after school called, I told Kellan that he can't miss too much preschool.  I let him know that preschool is why he's so smart and can count to 100. His little hoarse voice from the backseat said, "and I'm so smart, I can count to 31!". Do they have preschool on the weekends?

Kellan is still obsessed with 'googly eyes'. He spotted a helicopter, and I praised his good eyesight. He said, "not really, because I have googly eyes".

Summer's almost over, but every time we got in the car, I ask the boys if they are cool enough. I made a sweaty effort to make sure the air vents are pointed at them. Both boys are never happy because there are two tiiiiny holes in the tint on my windows on Camden's side. They sadly said "we would be cool, but these holes are letting the sun in and we're so hot".  All I could do was give them Gatorade and pray that the heat stroke index was low.

September 9th, 2015

The boys and I were cracking up today using the Slo-Motion video feature on my phone. This may be surprising, but Camden hogged the camera time. When we were watching the videos, I pointed out how every time I moved the camera toward Kellan, along came a Camden and stepped in front. The boys found this hilarious. I mean laughing so hard I jumped up to make sure they took a breath! Finally Kellan put his hand over the phone, patted it, and said "It's ok, Kellan".

Camden and I were practicing our phone number and I said "Don't worry, you'll have this in no time!".  He couldn't really grasp the concept of 'in no time', so he said "by bedtime?".

Kellan calls hearts 'gloves'. Camden and I deduced that he's trying to say 'love'.

From the backseat, Camden said "Mom, are you wearing a black and white shirt?". I said "yes". He sighed and said "I see that shirt all the time. Maybe you should take a break from it."... I swear if he didn't have the biggest brownest eyes...

I was a little on edge helping Camden with his homework for the first time. I was actually really nervous. Camden's so super smart, and this was kind of an actual test to prove it. So, my nerves were on end, and I was watching Camden answer questions like a hawk. He answered a question, and went to click next. I yelled "NO!!!". Camden calmly looked at me. I argued with him for about 7 minutes about what the right answer was. Camden never dropped his gaze from my eyes and didn't say a word. I had looked at this problem and calculated it out a dozen times. I looked at it again, and realized Camden was right- my answer was wrong. I think I need to email Mrs. Weckerly and tell her I can't do Kindergarten math...

Camden said "you're funny like your Dad". I still can't understand why instead of calling Grammy and Granfy - Grammy and Granfy, he has to call them 'my Mom' and 'my Dad'.

We were at a birthday party and Kellan asked to watch an iPad. I looked at him incredulously and said "Kellan! We're at a birthday party! You don't watch an iPad!". He pouted and said "I meant can I watch something on your phone"...

There was a roasted pig at this party. Kellan was quite concerned with this. After a few minutes of checking out the pig, Kellan announced that he would like fish for lunch. I think he officially just became a vegetarian.

Camden asked me if he could have a dog treat to give Muffie. I told him he could after he finished his taco. He then looked at Grammy and said "or I can have one right now" and batted his eyelashes. I swear if he didn't have the biggest brownest eyes... Did I already use that one?

I've been telling Kellan over and over again not to talk with his mouth full. Not because it's rude by any means, but because I'm terrified he'll choke. You see, when you breathe in air, food could get sucked in and block your wind pipe. But I digress. At dinner, Kellan told a whole story with his mouth full. I said "Kellan! What have I told you about talking with your mouth full?!". He took a huge bite of food and replied "not to do it" - while his mouth was jam packed with food...

Getting Kellan to play Candy Land fairly is - shall I say - a challenge. Kellan spun and landed on a color he did not like, so he moved to a square he did want. I calmly asked him if he was playing fairly. He smugly replied "nope!".

Camden and I were playing hide n seek at Grammy's. Grammy walked in the door, and Camden chirpily said "Hi Ma'am! You're one of the clues!".

Kellan got sick at school on Tuesday so I brought him to my dermatology appointment. I honestly think he just wanted a 4 day weekend, because he's totally fine.
The nurse was asking me a few questions, and we almost got through that part unscathed. She was just about to reach the door, I mean, literally a foot away from the door, and Kellan shot a huge duck. Everyone in the room (including Kellan) froze. Then Kellan burst into giggles and loudly said "Scuse Me!". I, of course, burst into laughter and the nurse did too. She said "well he's certainly a boy, isn't he". I politely agreed, but this is more of Mom in him than boy...
While waiting for the doctor (oh yes, there's more), I had to change into a gown. I tried to do this as discreetly as possible, but the kid is 4. He was awed by the paper gown, and asked me why I was just wearing underwear and boobs. (I did have a bra on, I guess bra's are called 'boobs').
Kellan was playing on the floor - wait for it - at this doctor's appointment, and bumped into one of those cart things that hold the tools they use on you. I told him to be careful because of the items on the cart. He stood up to look at them in awe and asked "is this what they use to build people?!"

I may need a me blog too. Kellan and I took my car to the shop to have the tires checked. This only took about 5 minutes and the guy came in and told me just one tire was a little low. He paused, so I asked him if they put air in it. He said "no, we just let you know it's low. We don't do the air part here". I was thinking "Crap!" Where am I going to go to have someone help me with this. Then he, and all the employees cracked up. I then realized what a silly question I had asked. Cathy Face!

Homework, according to Kellan, is called 'arth'.

When playing Candy Land, I am always coming in last. The boys are getting to go double colors and I move one, maybe two squares at a time. I spun and got one color again and sighed. Camden took the spinner, looked at me and said "and then there's Mom. Just going along doing her business". What?

And back to the doctor's appointment (lucky you!). Kellan got to pick out a toy when we were leaving. He asked if he could get one for his brother too. He actually meant that and wasn't trying to get two toys for himself, so start realizing that's adorable. When we picked Camden up, Kellan was so excited to give him the toy he had picked out. Camden looked at it and said "that's ok, Kellan. I don't really like it". Kellan took it back, looked at it and said "Ok. I'll try to like it"...

September 8th, 2015

The Monkey and Cow woke up 5 minutes ago, and I already have 2 years worth of material for the blog...

The boys know they can't get up from the table during meals. They both tend to get up a few times. I always give them the Mom look, and exasperatedly say "what are you doing up from the table?!?!". Camden always (and I should know this is coming) grabs me and says, "I just wanted to give you a hug, Mom". And bats his eyelashes. Kellan has now picked up on this trick. Way to increase my Mom guilt boys...

Poor Cow threw up at school today and is home with me. He does keep asking if Camden knows he gets to stay home and Camden has to be at school. Hmmm...

Getting ready to leave Grammy and Granfy's, I went out to load up the car. All of the sudden, there was Kellan by the car. He had walked out the door and across the driveway by himself. I was SO scared and mad that he had done that. I picked him up and was explaining to him how dangerous that was and never ever to do it again. While I was lecturing him, he yelled "look Walmart!". There was someone hiking next to us with a Walmart vest on. I was so mad! Grammy did laugh. I wouldn't let Kellan watch his iPad that night so I hope he learned his lesson. He was sobbing that he couldn't watch his iPad. First words out of his mouth this morning were "I did not walk out of the house by myself today, so I can watch my iPad tonight"...

In the car on the way home, I kept lecturing Kellan on what he had done wrong. I asked Kellan to tell me what he had done wrong so I knew that he knew exactly what he was in trouble for. He did repeat what he had done wrong, but also added that he shouldn't walk on the Sun either because it's really hot. He also adamantly added, "I also shouldn't walk backwards on a mountain by myself because I could run in to a cactus and that would be really porky". I can't win...

When I was younger, my Nana Taylor thought I was a genius- of course. She was a school teacher, so she decided to give me an IQ test. I knew the answers, but was dying to find out what would happen if I got a question wrong. So I answered incorrectly on purpose. Nana knew I had done that.
Flash 30 some years later. Camden is doing some online homework and getting them all right - of course. He asked me what would happen if he got one wrong. I said, you probably won't, but I think it might give you a red mark. I could see the wheels turning. He has to be perfect, but he has to know what would happen here as well. He marked a question wrong and then turned to me with his eyelashes nearly hitting me in the face before he hit submit. I just looked at him and tried my hardest to keep my face neutral to let him make his own decision. He pondered just for a moment, changed the answer to the correct one, and I let out a sigh of relief. Then honestly, the whole time he's been doing his online homework, I'm dying to see what it would do if he got one wrong!!! Life really does come full circle.

Kellan looked out to the backyard and exclaimed, "it's SO muddy out there!". I sarcastically said, "I wonder why". He looked at me and said "don't you remember, Mom? We were spraying the hose in every dirt spot making tons of mud!"

We were playing on the Church playground and it looked like the boys were driving a ship. At the steering wheel, Camden yelled "Aye Aye Matey!". Not to be outdone, Kellan yelled "Army 80!"

At this playground, I got the great idea to climb up and go down the slide. I smiled at the boys and said "Look! Mom's going to go down the slide!" Camden grinned slyly at me and said "Don't be too fat!"

When I use Siri to text, it changes Kellan's name to "Calendar" and Camden's to "Calen". I'm heading down to change their name on their birth certificates tomorrow. That will just be easier...

I was going # 1 (I swear) and Kellan was in there. He looked at me quizzically and asked if I had a 'cicada'. I said "Huh?". He replied, "You know, where your pee comes out of". Yes Kellan, it is a cicada. We'll leave it at that...

Kellan was petting a porcelain chicken at Grammy's house. I know that sounds weird that she would have that as a decoration, but her house is actually gorgeous! Anywho, I was keeping an eye on Kellan doing this, and he was petting the chicken very gently. He looked at me and said "I know it's not a real chicken". He then thought a minute and asked "But can the chicken feel me rubba-ing it?"

When I went to pick Camden up from school today, the teacher said he wasn't there. Luckily, before I had time to start breathling into a brown paper bag from hyperventilating, she added "He's not here because he's so cute I ate him for lunch". I'll admit, I did keep an eye on her until I saw my monkey emerge un-bitten from the school...

September 7th, 2015

Camden, who notices everything, asked why I had moved the blanket that is always on the couch to my bed. I replied, "it was bugging me on the couch". Kellan's eyes got wide and said, "it was bugging you like 'BUZZ' 'BUZZ' and a bunch of bugs flew out and bit us?" To his defense, I had just put some Benadryl on bug bites they had just got.

Kellan asked for Doritos and said, but we'll need a wet wet napkin. He tends to turn a little orange all over just when I reach for the bag...

I asked the boys if they wanted to babysit Muffie for a few days. Kellan said "she'll say 'no no no!' She'll wonder if Grammy and Granfy are at Church".

We planted more seeds that the boys had collected. This time I bought soil. As soon as I poured the soil into the planter, Kellan's porcelain white hands were in deep. He looked at me and grinned saying "this soil feels like Muffie's poop!". I don't want to know kid, I don't want to know...

The boys had collected a ton of seeds. Most of the time planting was taken up by Camden evenly dividing the seeds between himself and Kellan. Go figure...

Kellan was in the backyard while Camden and I (Camden) were going potty. We heard a large crash. I jumped and Camden calmly said "that's Kellan getting into trouble."...

Out driving today, there were beautiful clouds. I pointed one out and said "look guys! This one looks like a duck!". Once they spotted it (sheesh that was painful), Camden said "I think it looks like a Toucan!". Not to be outdone, Kellan exclaimed, "I think it looks like a toothbrush!"...

Kellan wore a hole in his shorts sliding down the slide so many times.

Kellan literally just asked me why water is so wet.

At Fr. Reggie's birthday party, they had pasted a picture of him in a safari scene. You could tell (well, probably not if you're cool), but I could tell his face had been pasted over the Diego character. I think (ok, know) that's Dora the Explorer's cousin. But I digress. Kellan looked at the poster, gasped and announced "Fr. Jesus is Diego!!!".

At said poster, a group of people I didn't know lined up to get a picture with Fr. Reggie. All of the sudden, Kellan sauntered into the group front and center. He just smiled as a few different people took photos from a couple different angles. I was hoping no one noticed him because he's a tad short. Once he came back over, he looked happily puzzled and said "why was I in that picture?"

Doing math in the car again, I told Camden I was going to give him a tough one. Camden replied "that is not ideal".

We turned on to  Cactus Road, and Camden knowingly says from the backseat, "I re-neckernize this area".

September 6th, 2015

Here is Kellan's prayer;

Whole Mary, All of God, Hallowed be my sins and what I have failed to do and what I have blessed to do. And I ask Blessed Mary ever Virgin, O Virgin of Virgins and you my brothers and sisters to pray for me to the Lord our God. Amen.

September 5th, 2015

The boys were playing so nicely in their toy room. I said "I love you good boys". Without looking up, Kellan replied "you're welcome"..

Camden and I got to school the same time Mrs. Weckerly did. I thanked her for the nice note she sent home with Camden saying what a good job he's doing at school. She said Camden is such a smart polite guy. I said "he takes after me!". Mrs. Weckerly did not laugh...

Doing math again on the way to school -guess which boy didn't want to do math-, Camden asked me what is between 1 and 100. I said 50. Camden replied "how do you know?" I said "I'm really smart". Camden asked "for real?"...

I told Camden I was going to give him a really tough math problem. He said "get it on girl".

As Camden was getting in his car seat he fell face first on the floor. Once I realized he was ok, we laughed and laughed. Between cracking up and trying to catch his breath Camden told me I had to send that to Grammy and FaceBook.

Still trying to think of dog names, I asked the boys if they had come up with any more. Camden replied "Mark", Kellan said "Ally Eyeballs".

After swim I usually get the boys a treat from the snack bar. Kellan picked out Reese's Peanut Butter cups, and I'm assuming it's because that's what his brother picked out last week. After I got them all comfy cozy in their car seats, I opened their treat. Kellan exclaimed "why is everything so tasty?!"

I just heard Camden say "I wonder what the Mrs. is going to pack me for lunch?"

I usually sit in the same area when the boys go to swim. This time, I was sitting way to the left side. I watched Kellan waving, giving the thumbs up and smiling enthusiastically in the direction of where I usually sit. After I finally got his attention and he knew where I was actually sitting, he didn't seem phased at all and waved in my direction for the duration of the class.

At the playground a new kid came in and I saw Kellan give him a look. The kid came closer to him and Kellan said "you're mean, Levi". The kid hadn't even done anything - just walked into the play area. I ran over to Kellan and told him that wasn't very nice. Then I realized maybe Kellan knew this boy from school so had some prior knowledge of his behavior. Still, I told Kellan to be nice. When Levi's mom got there we introduced ourselves and Levi does go to Kellan's school. I was really glad Levi's mom didn't hear what Kellan had said. Then Levi's mom proceeded to tell me that Levi has been switched around to several classrooms because of his behavior. Poor Kellan did know what he was talking about!

September 1st, 2015

Camden doesn't want to swim tonight because he wants to keep his school uniform on so everyone knows he's in kindergarten.

The boys want to name our Beagle 'Amen'.

Camden also wants to name our new dog 'we don't agree'...

Camden laughed so hard last night when we were playing that he peed his pants a little. When we were Facetiming Grammy and Granfy, he told them the story and then said "awesome, huh?"...

I took the boys to the playground. As Kellan was running toward the swings,  he turned, looked at me with dimples and said, "see you sugarplum!". I don't know...

Camden took a trial karate class at school yesterday. The instructor used a foam noodle to teach the students how to jump to avoid an attack. Camden stood waaaay back where there was no way the noodle could hit him no matter what. Then he looked at me confidently and said "I'm so good, the noodle never hit me"...

At this karate class, Kellan was sitting on my lap so we could watch Camden. Kellan looked at me excitedly and said the teacher looked at him! Then he declared "he probably looked at me because he thinks I'm so cute". Oh... so THAT'S where I get it from!

Camden has been saying that he isn't feeling well. He's not warm at all, so it might be allergies or drama. Either is quite possible. I was sympathizing with him on the way home from school, and he said "when you don't feel well you're quiet. Take it from me"...

Kellan met a new friend named Cadence when we were on the playground. They were having a ball. Cadence came over and tapped Camden on the shoulder and said "let's go play". Camden said "me?'. Then he sauntered over, tried his hardest not to smile, and went to play...

When I picked Kellan up today, there was a new teacher in the room. I asked him what his teacher's name was, and to my great surprise he actually knew! Then he said "Miss Hannah doesn't know me though. She called me KELLAN."... Am I missing something?

We were in the car and talking to Grammy on the phone. All of the sudden we smelled a yucky smell! Camden asked if Grammy shot a duck. She said no, so Camden asked if her husband did...

In the car, Kellan said he found a string. I asked him where he got it, and he said he picked it up from his other hand. Mystery solved...