September 10th, 2015

From the back seat of the car - courtesy of Kellan - I hear, "Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse went up the Granfy clock." Grandfather clock, maybe?

I was peeing, and couldn't even get that glorious moment to myself. Kellan sat on the rug right in front of me (criss cross applesauce) for this 19 second process. I could see the wheels turning in his big head, and he asked "do girls have cicadas?". Camden cracked up and said "cicada's are what make noise outside at night!". I asked Kellan what he meant by cicada's. He said "you know, to go potty". Why yes, Kellan. The girl equivalent to 'bee dee bee dee's' is called a 'cicada'.

Kellan and I had a mother/cow day, and in the car, Kellan kept asking me to tell Bible stories. I told him each and every one I could think of - twice. Finally, when that well had run dry, he was still asking for more stories. C'Mon Holy Family! Why didn't you make me retain more?!. I said, Kellan, I need to think a minute for another story. Kellan said, "I know! How 'bout one about a sea urchin!". Sigh...

As you know, the boys are always asking me to tell them stories about when they were younger. Bottle sanitizing and nights up making sure they were breathing are not very interesting to them, so I started to pull from my childhood. There was a great Uncle Neil story. Uncle Neil? Do you follow the blog? Aw who am I kidding. Everybody does!
Here's the Uncle Neil story that Camden finds hilarious and Kellan thinks is so-so.
Uncle Neil had to - uh, shall we say 'poop' really badly at school (Like how I sugar coated that?). The only problem was, is that the buses were already there to take the students home, and there was no time to poo. Uncle Neil held this the whole way home, and the minute those bus doors opened at the destination of StockBridge Commons, Uncle Neil took off running at full speed. Well, as full speed as an 8 year old Gall could run. We were lucky to live in a really cool Mid Western neighborhood, and all the backyards met up so there was grass the whole way home. I won't waste time - Uncle Neil tripped on a rock and pooped his pants.
The best part is, when he got home, he didn't tell Mom (Grammy) and just put his soiled underwear in the bathroom sink. When Grammy walked in to the bathroom, she was like "what the?!' Camden did a rendition of this story for video, and Kellan could pretty much care less. Makes me wonder what Kellan has up his sleeve...

Kellan has a runny nose. He said "good thing we're playing Candy Land in the bathroom! The kleenex is right here!" Not that he uses Kleenex...

Since Kellan has *ahem* boogers, he claims he's the 'Booger-lar'.

The boys love racing their cars. Camden, of course, is very methodical about who wins. Obviously it's the car that goes further, but the car he's 'in' changes according to who wins. Kellan loves this game too. When the cars he vrooms have all gone, he says "well, this car went first so he wins". Oh Lions, can you start first in every game? According to Kellan, we would win the Super Bowl each and every single year! That's the secret!

So, just as I'm getting used to Camden having homework, he is too. We were at Grammy and Granfy's and I had him at the table doing his homework. He's very smart, but he's never had to focus specifically on one task. He got to choose when and where he wanted to be smart. Kellan was, this is new, pouting about not being able to watch the iPad. I told him if he helped me set the table, he could watch the iPad later. He reluctantly threw out paper towels on the table and forks went here and there, willy nilly. As this was new, Camden could not stand the fact that Kellan got to set the table and he could not (wonder how long this will last). I seriously had to yell at Camden to stop wanting to do chores!

I was getting Cow kisses (not quite as rare as Monkey kisses), and Kellan said my breath smelled like paint. My thoughts went from mad to sad to scared and embarrassed. Then I realized I had just put on my make-up. I was assuming that was what he smelled as he motioned to get down and far away from me. Yes, that's what it was. Let me have this one, ok?

So, Kellan left school Tuesday due to an upset stomach. I do believe this as he's been complaining for a while. In the car, I had him buckled, and before we turned on Union Hills, he said "I'm a rotten egg because I got out of school early".

When I picked Kellan up after school called, I told Kellan that he can't miss too much preschool.  I let him know that preschool is why he's so smart and can count to 100. His little hoarse voice from the backseat said, "and I'm so smart, I can count to 31!". Do they have preschool on the weekends?

Kellan is still obsessed with 'googly eyes'. He spotted a helicopter, and I praised his good eyesight. He said, "not really, because I have googly eyes".

Summer's almost over, but every time we got in the car, I ask the boys if they are cool enough. I made a sweaty effort to make sure the air vents are pointed at them. Both boys are never happy because there are two tiiiiny holes in the tint on my windows on Camden's side. They sadly said "we would be cool, but these holes are letting the sun in and we're so hot".  All I could do was give them Gatorade and pray that the heat stroke index was low.